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    Sex Facts
    From chuck norris planet, a free chuck encyclopedia (not Wiki or Chuck Norris affiliated)

    • Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
    • Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly
    • Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris
    • Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom
    • The phrase 'balls to the wall' was originally conceived to describe Chuck Norris entering any building smaller than an aircraft hangar
    • chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy
    • There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris
    • Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice
    • Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight
    • If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you
    • Chuck Norris never "gets laid", rather: "laid gets Chuck".
    • Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There we no survivors
    • When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women
    • Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday
    • Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice
    • There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris
    • Once you go Norris, you are physically unable to go back
    • On Valentine's Day, Chuck Norris gives his wife the still beating heart of one of his enemies. Being very romantic, Chuck Norris believes every day should be Valentine's Day
    • chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy
    • Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris
    • Love does not hurt. Chuck Norris does
    • 70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick
    • Chuck Norris' beard hair is believed to be an aphrodisiac in China
    • Chuck Norris delivers more male with one thrust of his pelvis than the U.S. Postal Service and the Pony Express have combined for the last 146 years
    • Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always
    • Chuck Norris does not procreate, he breeds
    • Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris
    • Chuck Norris needs a monkeywrench and a blowtorch to masturbate
    • Instead of having a cigarette after sex, Chuck Norris heads outside and brands his cattle
    • Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris



    Chuck Norris Facts
    Love does not hurt. Chuck Norris does



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