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    Miscellaneous Facts
    From chuck norris planet, a free chuck encyclopedia (not Wiki or Chuck Norris affiliated)

    • Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink
    • Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building
    • Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move
    • Chuck Norris does, in fact, live in a round house
    • A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded
    • Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares
    • When you say "no one's perfect", Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult
    • If you're driving down the road and you think Chuck Norris just cut you off, you better thank your lucky stars it wasn't the other way around
    • If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch
    • Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer
    • Chuck Norris trick-or-treated as himself as a child
    • Chuck Norris invented the question mark
    • If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass
    • It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage
    • Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors
    • Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Chuck Norris
    • When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris
    • When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off
    • Chuck Norris once roundhouse-kicked a ten dollar bill into 200 nickels
    • Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris
    • Chuck Norris does, in fact, live in a round house
    • On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun
    • Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move
    • There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue
    • Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red
    • The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain
    • Chuck Norris has never had a surprise birthday party. He can NEVER be surprised. EVER
    • Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
    • If you rearrange the letters in "Chuck Norris", they also spell "Crush Rock In". The words "with his fists" are understood
    • One time, Chuck Norris accidentally stubbed his toe. It destroyed the entire state of Ohio
    • Chuck Norris can taste lies
    • February 29th only occurs once every four years because Chuck Norris wills it to be so
    • Chuck Norris IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU
    • Chuck Norris' house has no doors, only walls that he walks through
    • When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them
    • Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas
    • Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris
    • Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same time
    • Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear
    • Chuck Norris does not age. Every birthday, it's just another year added to his existence, which sucks for you

    Chuck Norris Facts
    If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.

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