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    From chuck norris planet, a free chuck encyclopedia (not Wiki or Chuck Norris affiliated)

    • Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down
    • Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
    • Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
    • It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.
    • Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.
    • Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
    • Chuck Norris can skeletize a cow in two minutes.
    • The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.
    • Chuck Norris once rode a nine foot grizzly bear through an automatic car wash, instead of taking a shower.
    • There are no such things as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
    • Chuck Norris' pulse is measured on the richter scale.
    • No matter what your mother always said, Chuck Norris can tune a fish.
    • Chuck Norris visits an active volcano every morning to get some of "the best damn espresso on Earth".
    • Chuck Norris Buillt Mount Everest with a bucket and spade.
    • Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a staring contest.
    • Chuck Norris is capable of photosynthesis.
    • Bigfoot takes pictures of Chuck Norris.
    • Niagra Falls is the result of one of Chuck's legendary cannon balls.
    • Chuck Norris once kicked a baby elephant into puberty
    • Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.
    • If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list.
    • Chuck Norris invented water.
    • Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked every tree in existence.
    • Chuck Norris can piss into gale force winds.
    • When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
    • The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
    • When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
    • Lightning never strikes twice in one place because Chuck Norris is looking for it.
    • Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.
    • Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
    • Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
    • Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain
    • Chuck Norris is like a dog, not only because he can smell fear, but because he can piss on whatever he wants
    • A duck's quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you, grimly
    • Chuck Norris won a pissing contest against a Russian race horse

    Chuck Norris Facts
    Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

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