search
facts by category

  •  Fighting
  •  Life and Death
  •  Religion
  •  Government
  •  Military
  •  Science
  •  Nature
  •  Medicine
  •  Hygiene
  •  Food
  •  Games
  •  Computers
  •  Sexuality
  •  History
  •  Transportation
  •  Wit and Wisdom
  •  Movies
  •  Television
  •  Literature
  •  Sports
  •  Miscellaneous


  • other tough guys

  •  Vin Diesel
  •  Mr. T
  •  Others


  • sponsored


    Directory | Contact Us | Privacy Policy & Legal
     

    Share |
        
    Science
    From chuck norris planet, a free chuck encyclopedia (not Wiki or Chuck Norris affiliated)

    • There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live
    • Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
    • Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
    • Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
    • Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
    • If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
    • Science Fact: Roundhouse kicks are comprised primarily of an element called Chucktanium.
    • Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.
    • There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
    • According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
    • Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
    • Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.
    • Kryptonite has been found to contain trace elements of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks to the face. This is why it is so deadly to Superman.
    • Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
    • The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.
    • Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Chuck Norris with "obstruction of justice." This is because even Chuck Norris cannot be in two places at the same time.
    • There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.
    • Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
    • There's an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris.... Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.
    • We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
    • Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.
    • Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.
    • Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter. This was proven a recently, when scientific analysis revealed what appeared to be Jean-Claude Van Damme bone fragments inside the Hope Diamond.
    • Divide Chuck Norris by zero and you will in fact get one........one bad-ass that is.
    • When Chuck Norris is ready to wake up, he tells the sun to get the above the horizon.
    • When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror nothing appears. There can never be a second Chuck Norris.
    • Einstein's original Theory of Relativity was; if Chuck Norris kicks you, your relatives will feel it.
    • The moon is actually a comet that was once on course to hit earth... then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it into orbit.
    • When Chuck Norris picks his nose, he REALLY does find Gold.
    • Chuck Norris once tried to wear glasses. The result was him seeing around the world to the point where he was looking at the back of his own head.
    • If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down
    • Chuck Norris doesn't worry about changing his clock twice a year for daylight savings time. The sun rises and sets when Chuck tells it to.
    • One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.
    • Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.
    • Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
    • Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
    • While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
    • When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
    • -The Big Bang was actually Chuck Norris roundhouse kicking God in the face.
    • -Q: What's 30 times Chuck Norris? A: Oblivion.
    • -Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
    • Chuck Norris wears Orion's Belt around his pinky toe and he eats with the Big Dipper
    • Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.
    • Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to Chuck Norris. He only has two needs: killing people and finding people to kill.
    • Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.
    • Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
    • The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.
    • The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.
    • When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris
    • When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face
    • Science Fact: Roundhouse kicks are comprised primarily of an element called Chucktanium.
    • If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes
    • When chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders
    • The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death
    • Chuck norris doesnt go at the speed of light, he goes at the speed of Norris
    • Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands
    • It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself
    • Chuck Norris' IQ can be expressed simply as a sideways eight
    • Chuck Norris can divide by zero
    • Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound



    Chuck Norris Facts
    There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.



    Home | Directory | Contact Us | Privacy Policy & Legal