From chuck norris planet, a free chuck encyclopedia (not Wiki or Chuck Norris affiliated)
Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris (born March 10, 1940) is an American martial
artist, actor, media personality, and general bad-ass. After kicking the crap out of
commies while serving in the United States Air Force, he began his bloody rise to fame
as a martial artist and has since founded his own school, Chuck Kwon Do. Norris
honored a number of action films by appearing in them, such as Way of
the Dragon in which he starred alongside Bruce Lee. He next put rednecks in their place
when he played the starring role in the television series Walker, Texas Ranger from 1993
to 2001. As a result of this "tough guy" history, an Internet phenomenon began in 2005
known as Chuck Norris facts, ascribing various true feats of strength to Norris.
The rest of this Web site is dedicated to describing these feats. His numerous
contributions to the world (and more specifically, population control) are categorized
in the menu on the left.
|Chuck Norris Facts
After seeing a single episode of Walker, Texas Ranger, France surrendered.
|Carlos Ray Norris
March 10, 1940 (age 69)
Ryan, Oklahoma, United States
|Any woman he wants
Norris was born in Ryan, Oklahoma, the son of Wilma (née Scarberry). His father was rumored to be an angel,
and his birth was proceeded by three wise men and an extremely bright star.
Norris' is of Irish and Cherokee descent, which explains his appetite for ass-kicking.
He has two younger brothers, Wieland (deceased) and Aaron (a Hollywood producer). Norris' childhood, much like the rest of his life, was exemplary.
He was athletic, outgoing, and generally a young gigolo. Other children taunted him about his mixed ethnicity once; there were no survivors. In fact,
the phrase "only the good die young" was coined by a kindergarten classmate of Norris.
He joined the United States Air Force as an Air Policeman (AP) in 1958 and was sent to Osan Air Base, South Korea. North Korea immediately attempted to
surrender to Chuck but he declined to accept it.
It was there that Norris acquired the nickname Chuck and began his training in Tang Soo Do (tangsudo), an interest that led to black belts in that art and
the founding of the Chuck Kwon Do ("Universal Asskicking") form. He created the United Fighting Arts Federation and "KickStart", a middle/high school–based
program intended to give at-risk children a focus point in life through the martial arts. When he returned to the United States, he continued to act as an AP
at March Air Force Base, California. The crime rate in California subsequently dropped to 0% that year. Norris told the airforce he was leaving, and out of fear they
discharged him in August 1962. He worked for the Northrop Corporation, where they were attempting to develop weapons that duplicated Chuck's destructive power; they failed.
He also opened a chain of Karate schools, but was forced to close them down after no students survived the first training session.
Rise To Power
Norris decided slapping around commies wasn't fulfilling enough, so he started his professional fighting career. He easily scored victories over the likes of Lewis, Skipper Mullins, Arnold Urquidez, Victor Moore, Ron Marchini, and Steve Sanders. In early 1968, Norris suffered the first and last loss of his career, losing an upset decision to Louis Delgado when he fell asleep in the ring out of boredom. On November 24, 1968, he avenged his defeat to Delgado and by doing so won the Professional Middleweight Karate champion title, which he held for six consecutive years. Coincidentally, Delgado hasn't been seen since and is believed to be in hiding on the Mir space station. In 1969, he won Karate's triple crown for the most tournament wins of the year, and the Fighter of the Year award by Black Belt Magazine.
Also in 1969 Norris made his acting debut in the Dean Martin film The Wrecking Crew.
At a martial arts demonstration in Long Beach, Norris met the soon-to-be famous martial artist Bruce Lee. In 1972 he acted as Lee's nemesis in the movie Way of the Dragon (titled Return of the Dragon in its U.S. distribution), which is widely credited with launching him toward stardom. The movie was also credited with the greatest special effects scene in history, where Chuck Norris supposedly lost. The film was not a financial success because no one believed it.
In 1974, McQueen encouraged him (while pleading for his life) to begin acting classes at MGM. Chuck Norris retired with a karate record of 102,456-1.
Norris' first starring role was in the 70's hit Breaker! Breaker!, and subsequent films such as Good Guys Wear Black (1978),The Octagon (1980), An Eye for an Eye (1981), and Lone Wolf McQuade proved his increasing box office popularity. In 1984, Norris starred in Missing in Action, the first of a series of Prisoner of war rescue movies that were actually documentaries about his life. Contrary to reports, Norris publicly said he was never offered the part of the Sensei of the Kobra Kai dojo in the film The Karate Kid. No one wanted to see a film that lasted 12 seconds with Danielson and Mr. Miyagi both ending up as paraplegics.
Over the next four years, Norris became Cannon's most prominent star, appearing in eight films, including Code of Silence, The Delta Force, and Firewalker, in which he co-starred with Louis Gossett, Jr.. Many of these films were produced by Chuck Norris's brother Aaron. He was the only director to survive a complete movie shoot.
It is occasionally cited that Norris made history in 1997 when he was the first Westerner in the documented history of Tae Kwon Do to be given the rank of 8th Degree Black Belt Grand Master. However, Norris appears to have been misled about this as there were at least two other U.S. Black Belts awarded TKD 8th Dan several years prior. Both have since disappeared. In 2000, Norris was presented the Golden Lifetime Achievement Award by the World Karate Union Hall of Fame. He is now the only member of the Hall of Fame.
In 2007, Commandant General James Conway made Norris an honorary United States Marine General during dinner in Washington, D.C. General Conway survived.
Walker, Texas Ranger
By the late 1980s, Cannon Films had faded from prominence, as all of it's directors, producers, and staff had been maimed or killed during movies shoots. Norris went on to make several films before he decided to conquer television. In 1993, he began shooting the series Walker, Texas Ranger, which lasted eight years on CBS and chronicled a week-long vacation Norris once took in Texas.
In 2005, CBS premiered the Sunday Night Movie of the Week, Walker, Texas Ranger: Trial by Fire. Norris continued his role as Cordell Walker for the movie, and more rednecks suffered. He has stated that he is open to continue this series in the future, but only after they find a suitable amount of "fresh meat" rednecks for him to abuse.
World Combat League
In 2005 Norris founded the World Combat League, a team-based martial arts tournament.
5 men and 1 woman on each team compete against teams from other geographical regions.
The World Combat League was created by Chuck Norris so he could develop fighters that might not so be so easy for chuck to destroy.
So far it has failed miserably.
Norris has been married several times, and has sired countless children. They recently chronicled his children in the X-men series of movies.
Norris is an outspoken Christian, and has lunch with god on a weekly basis. Norris is the author of several Christian-themed books, including one called the "Bible", which was orinally titled "Chuck and Friends". In 2006, he began writing a column for the news website WorldNetDaily, sharing his "musings about faith, family, freedom, country, loyalty, and especially ass-kicking" In his columns, he has expressed his belief in Norrisism, where all the universe relolves around Chuck. No one in the scientific community has dared question his theories.
Norris has conquered the United States, and rest of the world. He allows others to rule in his place because he easily gets bored with the tedious day-to-day tasks of ruling with an iron fist. He calls his leadership style a "Chucktatorship". We will all soon be building pyramids in his honor, and we WILL be obedient.
Chuck Norris supports gun rights and ownership, mainly because he is looking for a challenge. He does not believe in evolution and subscribes to intelligent design, primarily because he is the one who designed the universe, so he should know.
After the 2008 presidential election, Norris drafted a letter to President elect Barack Obama, stating that he will "use and cite the Constitution ... protect American life... unless Chuck decides otherwise.
Chuck Kwon Do
Norris created the martial art Chuck Kwon Do, which is based primarily on Tang Soo Do and includes elements from every combat style known to man. Like many other martial arts, Chun Kuk Do includes a code of honor. They are:
1.Thou shall not tell Chuck Norris jokes - EVER.
2.Thou shall forget the mistakes of the past and hope Chuck lets you live.
3.Thou shall continually work at developing your roundhouse kicks.
4.Thou shall look for the good in all people and if you can't find it, "Chuck" them.
5.Thou shall say nothing unless Chuck beats it out of you.
6.Thou shall watch Walker: Texas Ranger five times a week.
7.Thou shall maintain an attitude of open-mindedness, unless Chuck tells you otherwise.
8.Thou shall maintain respect for Chuck's authority or face the consequences.
9.Thou shall always remain loyal to Chuck, God, your country, family and your friends (in that order).
10. Thou shall remain highly goal-oriented throughout your life because that positive attitude will help you with the beatings Chuck is about to impose upon you.
His record, based on tournament matches and wars, is estimated to be 102456-1. Here are some highlights:
1963: 15th Airforce Judo Tournament, Fairchild Airforce Base, Spokane, Washington, fought the entire Marine Corps: Chuck Won.
Chuck Norris Facts
1964: Defeated entire city of Salt Lake in Salt Lake City Tournament.
1965: Defeated California at Takayuki Kubota's All-Stars Tournament in Los Angeles, California.
1965: Defeated Joe Lewis, Ron Marchini, Allen Steen, and a bunch of other fodder.
1966: Defeated by Louis Delgado - Fell asleep during match, and lost by forfeit.
1966: Defeated Louis Delgado, who has since been in hiding.
1966: Won the National Winter Karate Championships in San Jose, California. He defeated the season winter.
1986: Defeated Mr T. This was the only close fight he ever had. The rematch is scheduled for 2012. It will be called "the apocalypse".
Defeated other chumps and nations too numerous to mention...
In case you haven't already guessed it, these "Facts" about Chuck Norris are not
really facts at all, they are jokes, and this
site is not really Wiki-affiliated. But come to think of it, many of Wiki's
"facts" are a joke too, so this site would probably fit right in.
The author of this website is now hiding in the mountains of Tibet.
Unfortunately, there are no sources of information on Chuck Norris. You don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.